random thoughts

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

We learned in Close Relationships that we like people who like us and we like people who are similar to us. Illustration: "I like him, and we have that in common."
My classes this quarter keep overlapping. It turns out that math is very related to decision making and close relationships is very related to psychopathology. No, seriously. Passionate love has a lot in common with obsessive compulsive disorder, which may help you understand why he keeps locking the door repeatedly.
We can learn valuable lessons from the skeletons and ghosts during Halloween:
Life is short, eat the good candy first.

Friday, October 27, 2006

Q: Where do the lonely socks go?

A: The same place lonely people go- match.com

Thursday, October 26, 2006

It's a thin line there between honest and mean. Also between funny and just violent.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

I want what every girl wants: a romantic kiss outside, under a shared umbrella, in the spring, with candy corn just pouring down all around us.
When people say there's more to them than meets the surface, I'd have to say you should just agree because most people do not let you do live dissection.
I wish I were a genius because then I could wear whatever I wanted to work. I bet there are other perks also, like being able to wear an "I'm with stupid" shirt pretty much anywhere.
They say that everything is mental, but apparently that does not apply for diabetes. Laughter is a good medicine but there are special occasions perhaps when insulin trumps it.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

I bet if you're a siamese twin, identity crisises are the least of your problems.

Friday, October 20, 2006

I bet Karma would be a really good name for a hit man.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

It's really hard to be elusive so that people wonder where you've gone if you keep checking back to see if they've started wondering yet.
Signs you're losing it...

"Hey, how's it going?"
Sigh. "Long day."
"I was going to say, well it is Monday but ha, it isn't even Monday."
"It is Monday."

Monday, October 16, 2006

"We will get along very fine," she said "because you find yourself incredibly charming and handsome and I appreciate a sense of humor in a man."
How about this-
I will bake you cookies whenever you want if we just agree this moment that from now on I am always right. Is that so hard?
They are very good cookies and I am right most of the time anyway.
I think we are all just searching for someone to love us deeply, regardless of our flaws and quirks, someone who enjoys earning lots of money, doing laundry and creating fancy up-do hairstyles for special occasions. Maybe one day I will settle for 2 out of 3, but that day is not today.
You can achieve whatever you put your mind to, especially if you put your mind to very simple small things, like remembering to bring an umbrella and keeping your fly zipped up. And some days even those things can be great challenges.
There are some days when you have the energy to face the world and take on what comes and there are some days when you'd rather turn on the television and watch other people fail for a change.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Today I started yoga class. It turns out that yoga has its own language. When we say "ohhhmm" it means we are harnassing peace. When the instructor says "Okay, now float your leg up" it means prepare for great pain.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

One would have to have incredible mind power to overdose on placebos.

Monday, October 09, 2006

If I had to do it all again, I would have a strong feeling of deja vu.

Friday, October 06, 2006

If I had known how things were going to turn out, I wouldn't have wasted all that time thinking about shaving my legs.
It's obvious that whoever coined the phrase "better than a sharp stick in the eye" never got to spend that much time with you.
I think if you're a celebrity then you don't need to be as self-aware as the rest of us. If I were a celebrity, I wouldn't have to know what's going on in my life, I could just read it in the paper. That's gotta be pretty useful.
There's a saying in my country, it goes a little like shut the hell up.
 
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